In a groundbreaking fusion of motherhood and technology, tech giant MommiTech has unveiled its latest innovation: the PostPartum Pooper 3000, a smart diaper that claims to detect postpartum depression by analyzing infant fecal matter.

"Who needs trained medical professionals when you have a high-tech diaper?" exclaimed MommiTech CEO, Chip Silicone, at the product launch. "Our revolutionary AI can detect hormonal imbalances in baby poop with 60% accuracy, which is way better than actually talking to new mothers about their feelings."

The PostPartum Pooper 3000 comes equipped with an array of sensors, a built-in spectrometer, and a 5G connection to continuously upload data to the cloud. "It's like having a team of scientists in your baby's pants," Silicone proudly declared.

Maternal health experts have expressed skepticism about the product. Dr. Emma Empathy, a leading obstetrician, commented, "While we appreciate the tech industry's sudden interest in women's health, perhaps investing in better healthcare access and mental health support would be more beneficial than... whatever this is."

The smart diaper also features a companion app that sends helpful notifications to new mothers. "Feeling sad? Your baby's poop says you might have PPD! Why not buy our new mood-boosting smart breast pump?" read one example alert.

When questioned about privacy concerns, MommiTech assured users that all baby waste data would be anonymized before being sold to third-party advertisers. "We're not monsters," Silicone insisted.

Despite the controversy, some tech enthusiasts are excited about the product. "Finally, a way to quantify my baby's output and my emotional state in one convenient package," said Beta Tester, a first-time mother and self-proclaimed gadget geek.

The PostPartum Pooper 3000 is set to hit the market next month, retailing at $499.99 per pack of 20 diapers. MommiTech has hinted at future upgrades, including a feature that automatically posts your baby's diaper contents to social media, because nothing says "I'm coping well with new motherhood" like sharing your infant's intestinal activities with the world.

As the line between helpful innovation and invasive technology continues to blur, one thing is clear: in the race to solve complex health issues with silicon solutions, common sense seems to have been left in the dust – or in this case, the diaper pail.