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Parody Times
Paris, France - Wednesday - 13 November 2024
El Salvador's President Announces Plan to Replace Congress with Bitcoin Mining Rigs

A seasoned political analyst specializing in Latin American affairs, particularly El Salvador


In a bold move that has left political pundits scratching their heads, El Salvador's maverick president, Nayib Bukele, has announced his latest initiative to streamline governance: replacing the country's entire legislative body with a warehouse full of Bitcoin mining rigs.

"Who needs representatives when you have hash rates?" Bukele tweeted to his 2.5 million followers, many of whom are bots programmed to cheer for his every declaration. The president, known for his millennial swagger and penchant for governing via social media, explained that the mining rigs would generate both laws and cryptocurrency simultaneously.

Under the new system, each successfully mined Bitcoin will automatically trigger the creation of a new law. "It's foolproof," Bukele insisted, "The blockchain never lies, unlike politicians." When pressed about the potential for this system to produce nonsensical legislation, the president shrugged and replied, "Have you seen our current Congress?"

International observers have expressed concern, with one UN representative noting, "This is unprecedented. We've seen governments mine citizen data before, but never quite so literally." The IMF, still reeling from El Salvador's adoption of Bitcoin as legal tender, was too flabbergasted to comment.

Opposition leaders attempted to protest the move but found themselves unable to enter the legislative building, which had been hastily converted into a massive server farm. The constant hum of mining rigs drowned out their objections, much to Bukele's satisfaction.

As part of the transition, former members of Congress will be retrained as IT technicians, tasked with maintaining the new "Legislation Generation Units." Those who fail to adapt will be given the option to become human air conditioners, fanning the overheating machinery with palm leaves.

Economists are divided on the long-term implications of this move. Some argue that it could lead to a more efficient government, while others worry about the environmental impact of running an entire country on proof-of-work algorithms. One thing is certain: El Salvador's politics have officially entered the crypto age, leaving the rest of the world to wonder if they're witnessing the future of democracy or just another volatile bubble waiting to pop.